caring is cool.

(http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/07/16/casey-anthony-jail-release-her-dangerous-new-world.html)

This article from Daily Beast is awful, for quite a few reasons, which will be obvious to anyone with eyeballs and a brain. But the fact that Casey Anthony is a human being, no matter how completely loathsome, who will need a place to live and money to buy food, is something it’s kind of easy to overlook. How do you even live when you’re that infamous? She can’t get a job, basically ever, so does that mean that taxpayers will have to pay for her living expenses?

Also, she kind of should be forced to have her tubes tied. I read a blurb about the interview her parents did with Dr. Phil (shudderbarf), where her mom said that she hoped Casey could get married someday (!) and experience motherhood again (!!!). Um…no. Whether she killed her daughter or not, she was DEFINITELY an awful mom, so let’s not let her do that again, please. Okay, cool, glad we’re on the same page. 

On a more snarky note, if the text of her letters is any indication of what her books will be like, they will really be something. I’m not sure what thing. But definitely a thing of some sort. Garbage? Probably!

himapapaftw:

aniskywolf:

sapphiremysteries:

brooklynmutt:

“You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.” ~ James D. Miles

via Luz Jones

OBAMA STOP IT.

LKDJFSLKJGSDGH

DFGHJKJHGFD THIS IS ADORBS

reblogging again for cuteness

(via everybodyandtelevision)

This breaks my heart.

youmightfindyourself:

No, this isn’t a post about how women are lying hussies out to ruin the lives of good men with wrongful rape accusations. If that’s what you were expecting, you’re definitely reading the wrong blog (actually, come to think of, stick around; you may learn something).

What I’m talking about is this: Living in a rape culture, women are acutely aware of the type of rapes–and the type of victims–that are taken seriously. And the type that aren’t. The “good” victim (the only kind that counts in the minds of many, many people) is attacked by someone she doesn’t know while dressed “modestly” and not under the influence of alcohol/drugs or engaged in “risky” behavior. She’s an upstanding citizen with no history of criminal activity, mental illness, or conduct outside the norms of mainstream society.

Thanks to prevailing rape mythology, many people also have very definite ideas about what happens before, during, and after a “real” rape. Real rape victims want no sexual contact of any kind with their attackers and make this crystal clear right from the start. When attacked, they don’t just say “No;” they scream, fight, yell for help, and/or try to escape. Ideally, the victim will duke it out with her attacker to such an extent that she is left with obvious physical injuries. After the rape, she will be visibly distraught and in tears, but this will not prevent her from reporting the attack right away. In the days and weeks following the assault, she will spend a lot of time in the shower and be too traumatized to appear to function normally.

Some rapes do indeed happen like that; most don’t. And the more a rape departs from this script, the harder it is for the victim to be believed and taken seriously. She didn’t fight or try to escape? She must’ve wanted it. She wasn’t crying or visibly upset right after the rape? She’s probably lying about being attacked. She was seen laughing and seemingly having a good time just days after being raped? It couldn’t have been that bad.
 
Rape victims know this. Realizing that many people won’t understand why you acted in a way that doesn’t fit their preconceived notions of “how rape victims act,” or worse, knowing that many people will automatically disbelieve you because of your background or even blame you for being attacked brings some rape victims to the conclusion that there’s only one way they’re going to see their rapist punished: lie.

Most of the lies rape victims tell revolve around their use of alcohol or drugs, their relationship to the perpetrator, their reason for being in the place the rape occurred, their behavior before/during/after the rape, or their background. Virtually all lies are told to make oneself appear more like the rape culture’s idea of the “good” or “worthy” victim and/or to make one’s assault more closely resemble the rape culture’s “real rape” script.

Competent detectives and prosecutors know that victims may think they must lie to see perpetrators brought to justice and try to impress upon them the importance of telling the truth. They may attempt to reassure victims that telling the truth is absolutely essential and won’t prevent the case from going forward. And that’s true–to a point. Prosecutors must win their cases in the same rape culture the rest of us reside in, not in some alternate universe. Even if the prosecuting attorneys don’t subscribe to any rape culture myths themselves (which, of course, the victim won’t know), the DA’s office has finite resources, and they’re not going to bring a case they don’t think they can win. Too many skeletons in the victim’s closet and a rape that departs significantly from the “real rape” script, and they may conclude that their limited time and resources are better spent elsewhere.

Even if the DA’s office is prepared to take a chance on a rape victim who doesn’t fit the rape culture’s “worthy” victim ideal, that’s not the end of the victim’s quest for justice. The vast majority of criminal cases are plea bargained, but rapists are less likely to accept a plea agreement and more likely to roll the dice with a jury trial, if the victim or other aspects of the case don’t meet the rape culture’s standards for “worthy” victims and “real” rape.

There’s a case from the late 90s that I will always remember because it was the first time in my life that I got the message that someone might actually give a damn about junkies raped while buying drugs. Drug dealers raping female addicts is a very common occurrence, and most people, including most cops, believe women have only themselves to blame when they’re raped while trying to score drugs.

That’s why I was enormously proud of the prosecutor who went ahead with the case against a drug dealer accused of raping a female addict, even though I realized that the drug dealer being a known serial rapist with two prior rape convictions probably had a lot to do with that. In any event, the drug dealer decided to reject a plea bargain and take his chances with a jury, and the judge ruled that it would be too prejudicial to the defense for the jury to be told about the guy’s priors. However, the victim was a great witness, completely honest and forthright about the rape and her drug addiction. She was such a strong witness, I was actually surprised when the jury came back with a “not guilty” verdict. After the acquittal, a reporter told the jury foreperson about the drug dealer’s previous rape convictions and asked if having that information would have made a difference.

Without missing a beat, the jury foreperson replied that it wouldn’t have made a difference because the jury didn’t doubt that the victim was raped by the defendant; however, they were “concerned that she was there to buy drugs.” In other words, she didn’t deserve to see her rapist convicted because she’s a drug addict. Unfortunately this case isn’t an aberration. Even if a rape victim is able to convince cops, prosecutors, and a judge or jury that she was definitely raped, she may still be denied justice if she isn’t deemed a “worthy” victim or her rape didn’t happen according to the “real rape” script. Is it any wonder then that victims in those situations may feel they have to lie?

I bet you were wondering when I was going to get around to the new developments in the DSK case. As you have probably heard, the sexual assault case against former IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn is unraveling because the alleged victim lied. Not about being sexually assaulted, mind you, but about her background and also about what she did in the immediate aftermath of the attack. She now says that instead of reporting the assault to her supervisor right away, she initially cleaned another hotel room, then returned to DSK’s empty suite and began cleaning, and only then did she report the attack.

I’ve talked to several people who think this is damning evidence against her, but if we weren’t living in a rape culture, it really wouldn’t be. It’s not at all unusual to be in shock following a sexual assault and to continue going through the motions. I know ’cause I’ve done it. In fact, if the whole thing was a setup and she “seduced” DSK with the intention of accusing him of sexual assault (either in hopes of being paid off to drop the charges or awarded sizable damages in a civil suit following the criminal conviction), you can bet that she would have run crying to her supervisor right away! This sounds like a classic case of a victim lying about some aspects of her rape so they won’t be at odds with people’s very limited idea of what “real rape” looks like.

Apparently she also misrepresented her income to qualify for subsidized housing, lied on her taxes to qualify for a bigger refund, and lied on her asylum application about being gang raped (after being instructed to do so by a man working on her asylum case; she had been raped in Guinea, but not in the way she described to prosecutors). Additionally, there are some indications that she may be involved in a drug dealing and money laundering operation, and a man described as her boyfriend is serving time on a drug charge. All of this makes her a “bad” victim, the kind of woman men can rape with impunity. She did not want to be that kind of woman. And so she lied.

She represented herself to police and prosecutors the way she believed she had to in order to be considered a “worthy” victim. A victim deserving of sympathy and justice. And so she became the pious Muslim refugee who survived unspeakable violence in her home country before escaping to the US where she was granted asylum. The devoted mother who has neither time for nor interest in any kind of personal life outside of raising her teenage daughter. The hardworking poor person who plays by the rules and somehow manages to get by on wages too low to get by on.

I expect that the DA’s office will drop the charges against DSK any day now. Sure, they still have the DNA evidence to prove that sexual contact took place, but since DSK’s attorneys are going with a consent defense (as defense lawyers always do when there’s DNA evidence), the victim’s testimony is essential. And her credibility is shot. So that’s the end of the case.

And that’s how it goes in a rape culture. First, we make sure women understand that only a few types of rape count and only a few types of victims matter, so those who don’t conform to those narrow criteria feel they must lie if they don’t want their attacker to get away with the crime. Then, when the lies are discovered, we tell rape victims that they are now no longer credible and it’s their fault the case against their attacker must be dismissed. Works out well, doesn’t it? For rapists, that is.

(via ohheylife-deactivated20110809)

(Source: likeafinalboss, via bibliosaurus)

thingsandschemes:

- via Hamell.net

(via political-cartoons)

(via Andrew’s Posterous. Hi, Andrew!)

I walked my dog in the neighborhood I grew up in today. (I didn’t grow up there today. I walked him today. You know what I mean.) I spent 15 years walking up and down that street. I knew every house, every bump in the sidewalk, every tree. I’ve driven through many times since I moved away for the last time, but this is the first time I’ve walked it in years. Everything is so different, but also the same. (Very profound observation, Kira!) Houses have fences, trees have grown, or been cut down. Elderly neighbors are gone, and babies aren’t babies anymore. So, I took some pictures.

The first picture is of a house along my walk to and from school. Walking home one day in middle school, I passed a house I’d passed a million times before, but on this afternoon there was a dude jerking off on the front steps. I freaked out and ran across the street, to where another kid from my middle school was walking, and we walked the rest of the way home together. Hi, Peter! Thanks for walking me home, even though we weren’t really close friends or anything! That was nice of you!

The second picture is of a retirement community on my street, which is also the rotary club. I voted there for the first time.

The third picture is of another house. The people who live there have been remodeling their house for the last 15 years. The husband has been doing it all himself. I always wondered if his wife thought that was cool, or if she was pissed that he wouldn’t just hire some people to do it for them and get that shit finished. As you can see, it’s totally not done yet.

The fourth picture is the cafe I worked in when I met The Future Mr. Kira. I really liked my coworkers but I didn’t like the job very much. The tips were pretty lame and handling other people’s food is basically the worst. I’m not sure why people tip so poorly at cafes where they order food. They probably think that since we’re not waiters, they don’t have to? But if we’re actually making their food ourselves, then bringing it to them and busing the tables, I feel like we deserve more than a dollar for the time we spent. Tip, Jerks.

And, the last picture is of my bus stops. I didn’t learn how to drive until I was 25 or something, so I spent my entire life taking buses everywhere. These bus stops were MY bus stops. Rain or shine, I was hanging out there, waiting for my chariot. Unless my boyfriend or friend or mom was driving me.

Also, while walking back to my car, I ran into 2 friends I hadn’t seen in a while. It was super nice to see them. Hi, Lyle! Hi, Gaelan! <3 you!

This is one of my favorite Tumblr accounts. S/he posts a lot of facts and book recommendations, but this is pretty fun, too.

deadpresidents:

(Rebloggable version as requested)

This will be fun.

WASHINGTON: “Thanks.”

J. ADAMS: “Chill…you get your credit in the 21st Century. You get an HBO series, too.”

JEFFERSON: “So, about the slaves…”

MADISON: “So, about the Constitution…”

MONROE: “Please don’t burn all of your papers.”

J.Q….

answer: yes, of course. prior to the invention of the internet there were approximately zero sex crimes, ever.

(i’m going to be posting about this so much this week. i’m both sorry for possibly over-promoting and also not sorry because i’m really excited!!!)

some of you are obviously already familiar with videogum and gabe delahaye. you guys can skip this if you want. this is mostly for people who aren’t familiar with either. bye! see you guys soon!

for those of you NOT familiar with videogum and gabe, it’s a syper funny pop culture blog, written by gabe. videogum is one of the most consistently funny things on the internet and that’s entirely because of gabe. i know it’s not very cool to be a huge fan, but i’m just a huge, unrepentant fan of gabe’s writing. he’s just really, really great at what he does. one of the most remarkable things about him, and about videogum, is the insanely tight-knit community that has formed around them. again, i attribute that to gabe and his ability to create a sense of exclusive inclusivity, where everyone is welcome to join this smart, funny community of inside-jokers. everyone wants to be part of the group, and everyone can, because the commenters are also, almost without exception, really, really nice. it’s pretty special.

so, perhaps you can imagine my surprise and fangirl barfy-excitement when gabe emailed me and asked ME, of all people, to be the guest blogger for a whole day, while he’s out of town. A WHOLE DAY. ME. what? why? how? who? me? why?

this might not be the biggest deal to some people but it kind of is to me, and i am probably OVERLY concerned about doing a great job and not being a disappointment. partly because i want to impress the other monsters, and partly because i don’t want to make gabe regret asking me, i’m spazzing out a teensy weensy little bit. i’m sure some laid-back dudebros were chosen and were like, “sure. whatever.” i am not that dudebro. i’m super excited to have been asked and taking my responsibilities VERY seriously. i don’t write until friday but i’m already getting started, drafting and practicing and stuff!

so, please come read the site on my day. you don’t have to comment if you don’t want to, but you totally can. it would just mean a lot to me if my non-videogum friends and family were sharing this success with me.

also, definitely check in during the week and read the other bloggers, too, because they’re all VERY funny. and read lots of the stuff that gabe wrote, too, because he is like a giant laughter tree and we are little joke mushrooms, growing happily in his shadow. (what? i don’t know. i’ll get better by friday, promise.)